Global Warming. AIDS. Nuclear War. Potholes.

1.23.2007

Global Warming. AIDS. Nuclear War. Potholes.

Now more than ever, democracy requires the motivated participation of every citizen. At times such as these, the governed must ascend the political ranks to perform their highest civic duty as a virtuous representative of their community, region, or ideology. But since the virtue of elected officials is in noted short supply, one must wonder if the election process itself warps the character of the politician, transforming even the most honorable candidate into a husk of a man, devoid of all compassion, reason and fairness.

Let’s find out.

Join your comrades of the Know-Nothing Party this Saturday night (1/27) to hastily assemble the campaign of Honest “Abe” Siemsen for Alderman of the 24th Ward. Build a platform. Scribe a slogan. Plant a yard sign. Dodge a question.

Matt Jensen
Campaign Strategist
Honest “Abe” Siemsen for Alderman of the 24th WardLab

4 Comments:

At 1/23/07 4:25 PM, Blogger Spannie said...

"Now more than ever..."

So the campaigning has already begun!.

 
At 1/25/07 9:53 AM, Blogger tokyocrunch said...

For those politicos unable to attend this Saturday evening's campaign kickoff (erm, anyone?), we could still use your insight in developing the campaign's guiding principles.

We're serious, sorta.

What are the central issues? Why is Abe the best candidate to address those issues? Feel free to offer slogans, issues, and tactics in this comment thread or a fresh post. And keep your eyes peeled for results of Saturday's storm.

Our success metric, incidentally, is to garner a published percentage of the 24th ward vote (that is, whatever small percentage puts our candidate above the "others" pack).

 
At 2/6/07 10:24 PM, Blogger d.g. said...

Be forewarned, the campaign could be an uphill battle, by virtue of a rather smug and insulting letter I mailed to two local political players a short while back. I couldn't help myself.

TO:

Patricia Verde
Clayton-Tamm Community Association
P.O. Box 5234
St. Louis, MO 63139-0234

Dan Slavin
8000 Bonhomme Ave.
St. Louis, MO 63105


Ms. Verde and Mr. Slavin:

I reside on Nashville Ave., a few doors east of “the situation” in which you both seem to be embroiled. I’ve never met either of you, but am compelled to point out to each of you that your tactics for gathering community support serve you poorly.

When I first received the notice of an “emergency” meeting of the CTCA, I knew nothing about the situation, save that someone had violated federal law (Title 18, part I, Chapter 83, Section 1725) by placing the notice inside my mailbox. Out of morbid curiosity, I decided to attend. Ms. Verde, I’m afraid your completely one-sided diatribe and unbelievably presumptive attitude turned me off immediately. I resented your implication that as a single home-owner, I am less welcome in the neighborhood than a family. Families do not have the market cornered on upstanding community values. It occurred to me that, of 25 houses facing the segment of Nashville in question, there are 17 with a frontage of 30’ or less. Should the owners and residents of those homes consider themselves less desirable community members as well? I couldn’t ask them at the time… I didn’t see any of them at the meeting. I left before the vote, with a clear understanding that all of the facts were not in evidence, and that you were happy with it that way. I was unimpressed.

Had anybody cared to hear my opinion at that point, it would have fallen in Mr. Slavin’s favor. Did he get a sweetheart deal by virtue of being in cahoots with a corrupt politician? Knowing nothing of local politics, I had no idea, and didn’t really care — until I received the letter from you, Mr. Slavin, regarding the issue. While I stand by your right to make a presentation to the community, and agree that Ms. Verde’s treatment of your associates at the CTCA meeting was absurd, I was very disappointed to see that you ended your plea for support by perpetrating against Ms. Verde the same sort of ridiculous distortion that she used against Mr. Bauer. “Negative forces that are trying to destroy the neighborhood”? You only destroy your own credibility and integrity with such a claim. No matter what Ms. Verde’s political aspirations, how would “destroying the neighborhood” serve them?

I don’t pretend to be a real-estate expert, nor do I know anything about neighborhood level politics. I do know that you each squandered your opportunity to explain why your position should matter to me at all. Fear-mongering and finger-pointing are unbecoming sales techniques. I encourage both of you to remember that as you duke out your little war.

Abram Siemsen
6420 Nashville Ave.

 
At 2/7/07 7:42 PM, Blogger tokyocrunch said...

Abe for Alderman!!

 

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